Shifting a Perfectionism Culture

In my last post, I shared some thoughts on the topic of perfectionism in the Church, particularly as it applies to those who are earnestly in pursuit of holiness. In this post, I’d like to speak more broadly about the culture that fosters this issue, and offer some thoughts on how we can start shifting that culture toward a healthier disposition.

To re-cap, I believe our Church culture is riddled with not only perfectionism, but with the conditions that fuel perfectionism (shame, guilt, fear, manipulation etc.), and it’s become so infused into the practice of our Faith that most don’t know what the pursuit of holiness looks like without it. While our Catholic theology certainly states otherwise (CCC 1996-1999), if you were to surmise what we value based on the normal activities within our Church – the topics preached, the books revered, the practices endorsed, the quotations strewn – the overarching message is that the gospel is equivalent to an exhortation for self-improvement. I believe that in the name of pursuing holiness, the scales of our Church culture have been tipped too far in a certain direction and need to be re-set, and that the things glorified and emphasized in the Catholic journey of discipleship require a recalibration.

DYNAMICS OF PERFECTIONISM IN CHURCH CULTURE

To state it simply, a major factor behind the struggle of perfectionism among Catholics is the subconscious belief that our salvation is something we earn, rather than receive as a free gift. Now, this belief would never be voiced out loud in these terms because it embodies a heresy called Pelagianism that was condemned in the year 418. However, despite what our theology states, our current Church culture paints a picture indistinguishable from this heresy, creating a rather large elephant in the room. It is my conviction that if we were to really press the question of “why does one struggle with perfectionism in their faith?” we’ll inevitably arrive at the answer of: FEAR. Fear that salvation (and everything in the Kingdom that our Savior offers to us) can’t be as simple as the gospel lays out and there must be strings attached; fear that this gift could be revoked at any time; fear that it isn’t actually free and I’m expected to somehow re-pay it; fear that this gift isn’t completely effective without my further contribution. Fear that God is holding out on us in some way and we need a safety net in case the worst of what we fear turns out to be true. Fear that God is not actually as good as He claims to be.

Again, these are not the tenets that we as a Church uphold in our doctrine and teaching, but they are – to speak analogously – the juice that comes out when the grapes get squeezed.

Now, this disposition is nothing short of spiritual enslavement for an individual under its influence (which I addressed in my previous post), but when it is embraced by a culture, the end result is an environment that associates imperfection with high-stakes risk and becomes hyper-aware of any indicators of imperfection. Holiness in this culture is no longer a natural result of belonging to the Lord, but a requirement to do so, which shifts the responsibility of sanctification from Jesus to ourselves. The desire to please the Lord becomes an occasion to judge the “fruit” of external behavior in ourselves and one another, as an attempt to continually eliminate the imperfections. The end result is a value system that espouses a striving mentality and places undue weight on performance.

Furthermore, when we measure fruit by externals, and fear kicks in when we don’t see what we want to see, we will seek to control people’s performance and inevitably reduce the gospel to a behavior modification program. Self-scrutiny and self-evaluation become useful strategies (along with the motivators of guilt, shame, and condemnation) of gaining the desired external results. Fear begets control begets shame begets perfectionism… and the cycle repeats. In this culture, freedom gets sacrificed in exchange for the feeling of security.

Why am I going to such lengths to describe the dynamics of this perfectionism culture? My desire is to put words to something that is invisibly driving a large part of the lived experience of our Catholic Faith, but is rarely spoken about, even though it deeply undermines the gospel that we believe. It’s stripping believers of freedom and power, stunting authentic spiritual development, and preventing the faithful from stepping into their mandated mission as disciples.

IMPACT ON SPIRITUAL GROWTH & MISSION

Within Catholic Church culture, there is an inescapable pressure to measure ourselves. In comparing our lives to one another or to saints of the past, in reading Scripture through the self-referential lens of “what lesson do I need to learn here,” in daily examinations of conscience, in various prayer regimens…. whatever form it takes, our pursuit of holiness has no shortage of measuring tools, and no shortage of “shoulds.” And often, we are instructed by spiritual leaders to continually search ourselves for hidden sins — to root around for the detestable flaws that are surely there somewhere and need extraction.

This self-focus has had a profound impact in shaping the felt expectations of being a disciple. While there is certainly value to these practices in certain contexts, I am finding that the older I get, the more inappropriate they feel… like an unhealthy line is being crossed. Let me explain.

At the start of our spiritual development, self-evaluation and self-measurement can be useful — they allow us to develop certain disciplines, learn self-awareness, intentionally pursue growth in virtue — but as we mature, there’s a point at which things steady out and we gain control over our appetites, and our focus must shift outward. This happens in the natural realm — children are insulated and self-focused throughout childhood as they develop, but at a certain point, they enter adulthood and things shift. Similarly in our spiritual journeys, there must be a point at which we become spiritually mature and our focus shifts from personal development to mission.

What I have observed in the Church is a sort of… spiritual arrested development. In the name of “growing in holiness,” there is a tendency to get stuck in perpetual self-improvement, even at the expense of fulfilling (or even remembering) our mission as Christians. In current Church culture, the focus of our attention all too easily gets redirected inward, and this emphasis places self-improvement as the highest felt priority as a disciple of Jesus. Thus, ironically, the faithful end up cycling repeatedly through the practices of spiritual childhood/adolescence, rather than moving forward in empowerment and pursuit of our missionary calling – keeping us locked in an endless state of spiritual immaturity. [For a greater unpacking of the relationship between mission and spiritual development, Peter Andrastek wrote an excellent article here.]

The crux of Christian life is not relentless self-evaluation and betterment. We have a mission, and it’s not self-improvement. It’s bringing light into darkness — setting captives free, healing the broken, repairing and reconciling relationships. This cannot be done with our eyes fixed upon ourselves.

At some point, we need to believe that we’ve become spiritual adults who have moved beyond self-improvement and are strong and developed enough to engage powerfully in the world – that imperfections we encounter in ourselves along the way no longer require soul-searching and an identity overhaul (completely detouring us from our mission), but are just bumps that come with walking a gravel path. We have to start believing that grace actually works, and that our continual journeying with Christ over time has actually been effective in purifying and sanctifying us, readying us to do the world-changing activities that Jesus commissioned us to do.

This brings us back to the issue of perfectionism in the Church. I believe a big contributor to this struggle among Christians is when believers actually cross the threshold into spiritual maturity, but rather than getting propelled forward into mission by a Church who believes in them, they are repeatedly pressured to keep digging for more to “fix” in themselves. As we mature (and grace takes its effect in us), there ought to be less that needs “fixing,” so those repeated messages end up fostering an unhealthy and unwarranted amount of self-scrutiny. Left uncorrected, it’s easy to understand how this unfolds into perfectionism.

I believe that the Church is full of disciples who have reached maturity and are starved for the “more” of what Jesus has to offer. And perfectionism – along with everything culturally that fuels perfectionism in the Church – is keeping them from advancing into the fullness of their identity, mission, and calling. We are a Church filled with world-changers who carry the power of the living God inside of them, and releasing them into full freedom and empowerment is of utmost importance – for their own sake and for the sake of the world that so desperately needs what they carry.

SHIFTING THE CULTURE

What can be done to start moving our Church culture away from perfectionism and toward an environment that fosters freedom and healthy spiritual growth? Aside from shining a light on the problem, some practicals come to mind:

Shift the focus. In conversation, in preaching, and in reflection, shift the focus away from self-improvement and toward the gospel. Away from us and toward Jesus and what he did for us. “Seek first the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33); resist the urge to get stuck on how we ought to be living our lives, and lift the gaze to God Himself – His ways, His nature, His character, His thoughts. The external manifestations of holiness will naturally “be added unto us” when our pursuits are focused on seeking the Lord.

Remove the conditions that fuel perfectionism, especially when it comes to the pursuit of holiness. Largely, this requires breaking up with shame, fear, and control – refusing to partner with them as motivational tools, whether that’s in self-motivation or in motivating others. Agree to partner with love instead, and believe that love is more powerful at bringing transformation than any negative form of motivation. “The kindness of God leads to repentance” (Romans 2:4, emphasis mine). [For insight on how to walk that out practically, read Jim Schuster’s post on “Culture of Honor.”] While control and manipulation are common ways of getting results in this world, there is a higher way available to us as Christians. God’s ways are above our ways (cf. Isaiah 55:9), and rather than settling for worldly wisdom, we have access and a standing invitation to seek God’s higher wisdom in a matter.

Carve out space for greater freedom in the Church. Allow exploration and diversity in how the faithful exercise and express their faith. As people pursue the Lord, encourage new insights, revelations, voices, creativity, etc. Rather than repeatedly recycling the same insights from generations past, make room for today’s saints to emerge and offer to the world what they find in the depths of their relationship with the Lord. Make space in the Church for a new generation of spiritual giants. And in doing so, be sure to extend that same freedom and permission to yourself.

“For creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons and daughters of God… in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage.” (Romans 8:19, 21)