Fighting Fear
“What do you do when you’re afraid?”
Someone recently asked me this question, and while weighty, I think there’s a universality to it that we can all connect with. It’s no secret that times right now are stressful. Even apart from the unique events happening in our country and around the globe, I’ve found in my years of ministry that one of the largest adversaries we face as Christians is the spirit of fear. It comes in many forms, and its outgrowth bears various types of (bad) fruit. I also believe that freedom on every level — individual, collective, spiritual, emotional, relational, societal, etc. — is tied to the overcoming of it. So I’d like to honor the question by taking a moment to unpack some thoughts and strategies on overcoming fear.
Many of us know when we’re struggling with fear because we feel anxious or tense, or we recognize the worry or fear-based thoughts that run through our minds. But fear often cloaks itself in other things, and so it can remain hidden while we spend our time wrestling with its outer symptoms. For much of my life, I thought I had been magically spared from the struggle against fear, but upon digging into other areas where I lacked full freedom, I discovered its insidious root. Turns out, avoiding the things that evoked fear for me did not mean that fear wasn't a problem; it simply meant that I had learned to accommodate it. I’m sure I am not alone in this experience, nor in the experience of being held back from fullness. In fact, I’ve found in ministry that, when praying with others, a great majority of the areas in need of healing have fear at the root. Knowing that, here are some indicators that you might be battling hidden fear:
The urge to correct or control others, either in their behavior, decisions, or beliefs.
The urge to control your environment.
Expecting/anticipating the worst. This may show up as a vague feeling of heaviness or dread, or as a habit of envisioning how things might go wrong or imagining the worst possible outcome. It may also show up in the form of believing the worst about a person — interpreting their words/actions through a negative lens, rather than through the principle of charitable interpretation.
Self-preservation. You generally feel unsafe and your default is to view others as a threat. You regularly react with defensiveness. You find yourself desiring to distance yourself from others.
Perfectionism. You don’t feel like you can make a mistake, or you’re intolerant of the mistakes of others. You experience discomfort when there is disagreement or when engaging contrary perspectives. Every decision or event feels like a big deal.
If any of these resonate with you, you are not alone.[1] I’ve been there myself, and while I’m not an expert in this area, I do have a few tactics that have helped bring me to greater levels of freedom, which I will share below.
So back to the original question: What do I do when I’m afraid? At times, I find it sufficient to confront fear on the natural level, and other times require a spiritual solution. Most of the time, it’s a combination of both. Here are some of the tools I keep in my tool belt to use in the midst of fear, as the Holy Spirit directs me.[2]
WHEN FEAR COMES FROM WITHIN…
Natural level:
Play it out. On the natural level, I confront the fear head-on by playing it out. I force myself to answer the questions: What am I afraid of? If that were to happen, then what? And then what? And then what? For me, the answers eventually end in some form of, “It would be hard, but I would get through it.” Playing it out like this can strip the fearful thoughts of their power over me.
Spiritual level:
Pursue the presence. Scripture tells us that “perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18), so I aim to re-connect with God’s presence and His affection for me, in whatever way that comes most easily in the particular season I’m in — journaling, worship music, Eucharistic Adoration, Scripture reading, etc. And then I do what it takes to stay connected to His presence. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). This sometimes requires setting difficult boundaries, like limiting social media, entertainment, and the things that fuel anxiety for me (like multi-tasking), but the pay-off is worth it.
Recall testimonies. I actively call to mind testimonies of times that God has come through in the past — either in my own history with Him, in friends’ lives, or in Scripture. If He did it once, He can do it again... and again, and again, and again, because “the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy” (Rev 19:10). Reminding myself of the past moves of God shores up my faith and re-establishes me in His goodness, faithfulness, and sovereignty.
Go to war. I engage in straight-up spiritual warfare — going on the offensive against the principality of fear by exercising my spiritual authority in the Lord. Among other things, this looks like getting fierce in binding/renouncing afflicting spirits + declaring truth and embracing the things of the Lord. (Example: “In the name of Jesus, I bind/renounce the spirits of fear, foreboding, control, etc. In Jesus’ name, I declare God’s goodness and power over every area of my life, and I pray for the peace of heaven to infuse every part of my heart and mind.”)
WHEN FEAR COMES FROM WITHOUT… [3]
Natural level:
Re-connect with our shared humanity. When dynamics with others are involved in my experience of fear — whether because I am interacting with someone who provokes me, or because I am sensing the anxiety that others are carrying — I remind myself that we are all walking through a collective trauma right now, and EVERYONE needs grace extended to them. Everyone. There is hidden pain in depths we’ll never know lying in each and every one of us. This is true in every age and season, but especially right now. If interactions with others feel combative or antagonistic, likely that person is acting out of a place of fear (and possibly trauma). As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people.” In these situations, I remind myself that I don't need to react to their strong emotions with my own strong emotions; oftentimes that only exacerbates the experience for the both of us. Compassion can break this cycle. Once again, “perfect love drives out fear.” I can choose to put on compassion, gentleness, and kindness while engaging others, to de-escalate the intensity of emotions and create a safe space for both of us.
Choose connection. Fear is one of the biggest divisive tools of the enemy, if not the most divisive. If he can’t get us to turn against God, he is happy to get us to turn against one another. In times of disagreement and stress, we have the choice to either disengage from those who challenge us, driving the chasm deeper, or we can choose to move forward together, with kindness and honor, even while working through difficult issues. For this reason, I do my best to not disconnect or detach from those who may offend me, and instead I choose to preserve the relationship and remain in connection from a place of love.
Spiritual level:
Release the culture of heaven. “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7). God has not given us a spirit of fear, but HIS spirit, the Holy Spirit. In the Holy Spirit, we are equipped supernaturally with love, power, and sound-mindedness that position us to infuse peace into a situation where fear is rampant. That means I actually get to be powerful in the midst of this; fear doesn’t have to call the shots. I have the option to pause, recall and stand in my identity in the Lord, and press forward from that place. Again, this approach looks like going on the offensive against the principality of fear, by exercising the spiritual authority I carry as a disciple to re-set the atmosphere according to the atmosphere of heaven. For me, this can look like changing the tone of conversation to a more compassionate one, validating the experience others are voicing, affirming their value and lovability, choosing to speak from a perspective of hope, etc.
With all of these approaches, I always ask God which tool(s) to pull out in a given scenario, because different seasons and situations call for different strategies. I allow the Holy Spirit to be my navigator. And of course, this list is not meant to be exhaustive or formulaic, but to supply some options for fighting fear from a position of strength and authority in our God-given identity. Because the reality is, we are designed to be victorious (Rom 8:37) — over fear and all forms of darkness. God has given us wisdom and strategy to tear down strongholds (2 Cor 10:4-5), and His heart is for us to be fully free and fully alive. And while it’s true that hurt people hurt people, it's also true that free people free people. So our victory over fear can make a way for others to receive freedom as well. In Jesus’ name, may it be so.
1. This list is not meant to be exhaustive, nor act as a diagnostic tool for one's mental health; simply a guide to help highlight areas that may involve fear.
2. None of these are meant to dismiss or diminish the very real effects of trauma or mental illness, and are not meant as a substitute to replace the pursuit of healing wherever necessary. Therapy or counseling should be considered alongside these suggestions, especially in matters involving deeper pain, wounding, or traumatization.
3. Here, I am referring to situations where normal day-to-day interactions with others cause us to respond with fear. Once again, these suggestions are not exhaustive, and there may be occasions where distancing ourselves is more appropriate. Situations involving abuse of any kind should be addressed separately with a professional.